| when life's like an hourglass, glued to the table |
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| 10:58pm 18/07/2005 |
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mood:  cynical
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Artist: Anna Nalick
Album : "Wreck Of The Day" (2005)
Song: Breathe (2 AM)
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize,
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason
'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in you hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life they belong to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe |
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| 10:57am 16/07/2005 |
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mood:  confused music: jack johnson- symbol in my driveway
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1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal |
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| i'll wait by the phone for you. |
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| 05:49pm 06/07/2005 |
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mood:  crazy music: Dave Matthews- Ants
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so i finally got a new phone. that has voice mail. and caller id. so that means i actually know who's calling me and why as opposed to just knowing when. You beautiful people can now reach me at:
1-616-510-6687 |
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| She dreams in color, She dreams in red |
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| 03:49pm 12/06/2005 |
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mood: crazy music: Summer CD Mix goodness
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This summer is turing out to be amazing. There are exciting days, slightly duller days, but they all come crashing together in this huge blur that brings a smile to my face. Seriously, the best summer yet. I'm meeting new people, staying in touch with the people that i care to (for the most part), am enjoying work, going to the beach and just chilling downtown, reading Les Mis, its all just great. Amazing.
I made a sweet Summer Mix CD, too. Included:
The Fugees
Blessed Union of Souls
Bob Marley
Ben Folds Five
Coheed and Cambria
Finch
John Mayer
Pearl Jam
and more. |
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| 12:42am 09/06/2005 |
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mood:  enthralled music: the awesome summer mix CD i made
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today was absolutly amazing. and thats all i have to say about that. thanks, new people at java and other places i met tonight, you rock.
so will anyone teach me how to change my oil? I don't know how, my car needs it, and i'd really like to learn. |
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| Why I love Men... |
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| 08:43pm 03/06/2005 |
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mood: bitchy
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To the *ahem* "gentleman" that I had to deliver to tonight:
First off, let me offer up my sincere apologies for what happened tonight. I was completely ignorant that it was part of my job description to be a super model to deliver pizzas. I want to give you my warmest thanks for reminding me that it was a part of my job that I stupidly overlooked. I must have missed the fine print in my contract that had the descriptions of how I must fit your particular standard of beauty. Oh, I was so lucky to run into you tonight! I consider myself fortunate that I was able to deliver to a genuine "Male Asshole". Since I know you are mandated to voice your opinion on how I should look, in fact, as how all females should look, I will take your account your considerations. I have painstakingly analyzed my physical appearance and I would like to apologize for not being a size 2, having flawless tan skin, or having beautiful hair that wasn't covered by that pesky health-code-regulation hat.
Please forgive my mistake, and I assure you that I will do all I can to correct it.
Sincerely,
lauren light
ps. jerk |
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| Jack just put it so succinctly... |
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| 02:12pm 03/06/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic music: Gavin Degraw- Chariot
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"But they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I've shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirious of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and the middle you can see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'AWWW!'"- Jack Kerouac, On The Road
To all my mad friends, and you know who you are, I love you. Don't change. |
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| your favorite fruit is chocolate-covered cherries |
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| 08:22pm 29/05/2005 |
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mood:  artistic music: Gavin Degraw
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Long time no update, I know, and honestly, i wouldn't expect a ton of them in the future. Been spending a lot less time on the computer, and the only reason i'm on now is that i'm killing time before i go out tonight.
So, now with the updating: life is going really great. I'm just at this point in my life where everything seems to be working out, and the things that aren't going perfectly, i can still derive joy from such. Its just great to take everything i got from college and just take it back to the grand haven with me. I think the biggest ways i've changed is that i have a hellva lot more confidence in myself, i'm able to appreciate beauty more, and i've figure(-d/-ing) more about myself. In other news, i've been reading (A LOT), am learning how to play the guitar, and i just got hired at Marcos' Pizza in Spring Lake. My first night there is monday (memorial day) and i hope everything goes well with that.
My notebook is almost finished. It will be just over a year by the time i finish it. It is my treasure, and lately, i've been writing some poetry that i really life. Go me. I just wish that i could print pictures out, i've re-fallen in love with Marc Chagall.
I watched The Merchant of Venice with Al Pachino last night. Most excellent.
I also found out that i really like Gavin Degraw's "Chariot." I looked at the lyrics, and there so freaking beautiful.
Also, Hanna R., if you are reading this, give me a call sometime. I miss you. |
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| wide-eyed-wonder-amazement day |
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| 11:05pm 07/05/2005 |
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mood: enthralled music: Finch- Stay with Me
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You ever have one of those days where you just wake up and you feel like a newborn calf? You stumble out of your warm comfort and everything is new. Life is new, your surroundings, everything.
Today was a wide-eyed-wonder-amazement day.
Ended up staying at Lauren Down's place at WMU (aka Ipsi) and when i went there it was dark at night and i was doing the zombie driving skills. But when we left I realize how beautiful the whole drive was. It was somewhat hilly and rarely flatland with beautiful unique houses lined up and down the streets. The trees and all the greens where so beautiful. Driving with the windows down, blaring Finch and screming along to the lyrics, i just felt like i was breathing for the first time. This whole day i've just been obsessed with color, the way the light plays off of certain objects and catch my eye just makes me sing inside.
Later this evening Bobby, Lauren and I walked the peir and i swear that the sky was the most perfect combinations of blues. There were the light teals, the royal blues, the french and american blues...and the bruise-color near the top. I tried to take a picture of it, i just wanted to wrap the whole scene up in my mind and never let it go. It was one of those things that you just have to remember because no picture could ever do justice to what i saw.
I have my mexico sunset, and i have my star viewing nights, but i am still lacking a sunrise that will be permantetly etched into my mind. I would like to say it would be a goal for me to wake up early enough to see such a sunrise, but all those that i think will stick in my mind until i die just kind of happen. They all sprung upon me when i wasn't expecting it. Its never one of those days where you wake up and you tell yourself: 'today, i am going to see the sunset of my life' or 'tonight, i will see stars that will blow my mind.' It always just happens.
Today i felt young. Today i felt like i could do anything i wanted. And this summer, i can do it all.
And now for something slightly more random, a list of books i want to read:
-A heartbreaking work of a Staggering Genious by David Eggers
-Life of Pi
-Something by Virginia Woolfe
-The Secret Garden
-(reread) James and the Giant Peach |
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| 19 years, 8 months, 2 days, 8 hours, 3 minutes.... |
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| 03:49pm 26/04/2005 |
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mood:  busy music: Echo- Trapt
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(x)smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) been moshing at a concert
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey ..... WHAT??
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole..
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) been a cheerleader ..... it was in 4th grade!
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x)mooned/flashed someone
(x)had someone moon/flash you
( ) cheated on a test
( ) have a Brittany Spears CD ... change have to had and it's really and x
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair... all the time
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( )been kicked out of your house
ok...now its time to study more for exams. |
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| [Haiku love.] |
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| 02:57pm 23/04/2005 |
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mood:  cold music: Finch- "Stay with Me"
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| French kissing life |
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| 07:29pm 22/04/2005 |
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mood:  indescribable music: Jack Johnson- Cacoon
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So now I really should be studying. Really badly. So guess what i'm doing? Updating my livejournal. Guess its the same as always...i think Cassie will agree with me on this one.
As i delve without looking back into my Greek book, i'm starting to understand things. Words. These words i'm reading that mean things like "to wait", "together", "believe", "understand", "grief", "universe", and "passion, anger, cougrage, and spirit" have been around for ages. Describing feeling, emotion, loss, passion...just life. It really is a beautiful langauge. The words flow from my pen in a desperate attempt to retain things that i lost in the groggy 9 am class. They look pretty, in their foreign alphabet. And truth be told, i love doodling in my margins in "greek-english"...its like my own private code.
As i listen to Jack Johnson's "Cacoon", it brings things into full circle. This year...aye me! These words he belts out in acoustic loving meant something so much different a few months ago as they do now.
This year has become almost like a blur. Most of it i would love to forget. But thats the same song and dance that i've said before. Or maybe i shouldn't forget it. Maybe i should drink it in sans straw. Unashamed. Maybe i should remember it, embrace it, and declare bodly with its memory that this is my life. I could own it instead of banishing it from my personality. For better or worse, this year made me realize who i am. And while i'm not terribly sure if i like what i see, and i'm pretty sure i don't, I'm still learning. For the first time in my life i feel like its ok to make mistakes. I mean, i've only been on this planet for 19 years...and i'm really not sure if i know who i am. And thats ok. I can change. And i find that as a source of comfort. I can change all i want. Even here. If i don't like what i see...I can change. I'm still young.
To all my friends out there
to the ones i will keep in touch with,
to the ones i wont,
to the ones i've made this year,
to the ones i'd like to forget,
to the ones who listened,
to the ones who helped me forget,
to the ones that helped me loose myself,
and the ones that helped me regain it
Especially to those who helped me feel alive:
Thank you, for all of it.
(a confidential sidenote to you-know-who-you-are: it will be ok. i promise.) |
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| Stolen from Jordan |
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| 02:02pm 19/04/2005 |
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mood: peaceful music: Jack Johnson- Banana Pancakes
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FIRSTS
First best friend: Jellen O'Sullivan
First car: Geo Prisim
First self purchased CD: DC Talk?
First pets: Bakley (RIP)
First piercing/tattoo: ears, although sealed up...now its my belly button
First musician you remember hearing in your house: either Patsy Klein or Evlis Costello
Last good cry: a couple of weeks ago
Last movie seen on video/DVD: Nightmare Before Chirstmas
Last beverage drank: Mango Lemonade (BEST DRINK EVER)
Last food consumed: green apple
Last time showered: last night
Last shoes worn: the ones i wore to class
Last annoyance: Greek, Speech, Math, and Econ.
Last shirt worn: I like how this implies that I'm not wearing a shirt; the shirt i tie-dyed at Spring Hill
Last website visited: Jordan's xanga site
Last word/s you said: don't remember...probably "ok" or "bye"
What color socks are you wearing? white
What's under your bed? a dead body
What time did you wake up today? 8:30
Where do you want to go? Everywhere. Italy.
What is your career going to be? good question
Where are you going to live? some place warm, hopefully
How many kids do you want? 2-3
What kind of car(s): something that has good gas mileage
Current mood: Happy, content, loved, peaceful...i guess its the calm before the storm
Current music: Jack Johnson "Banana Pancakes"- WONDERFUL SONG
Current hair: dark brown, long
Current clothes: tie-dyed spring hill shirt, tank top, bra, undies, long blue jeans, socks
Current desktop picture: Sadak in Search of the Waters of Oblivion by John Martin
Current hate: people who can't appreciate what they have |
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| Sepiatone lovin |
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| 05:59pm 18/04/2005 |
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mood: loved music: Better Together- Jack Johnson
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My friend Bryant burnt me the Jack Johnson CD In Between Dreams
Absolutly. Amazing.
Hence the new backgound.
( Sepiatone Lovin' ) |
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| There's something in the air tonight something that makes me feel alive and I say "whoa" |
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| 06:49pm 02/04/2005 |
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mood: peaceful music: Finch- "Stay with Me"
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This has just been an really great week. Josh and Zoë (Gaetan's sister and sister's boyfriend/his friend) came up for the week, and it has just been a blast. We've watched movies, gone to concerts, played games, played video games, meijer runs, G-Rap runs, piercings, and ate a lot of food.
We've went to the Tsumani Bomb concert at the Intersection, went to go see Sin City (for all of you out there over the age of 16ish, GO SEE THIS MOVIE! Doug Sayranian, YOU WILL LOVE THIS MOVIE AND YOU MUST SEE IT. YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I THOUGHT OF WHEN I LEFT THE THEATRE.) went to the Rock Against Rape concert, played Taboo and some other game with Jeff, went to Morning Star and illed around Grand Rapids.
The weather has just been so beautiful lately. This past week has almost been too much to take in, if i try to pin point moments, it just kind of becomes blurry. Like when Jeff, Amy, Gaetan, Josh, Zoë and I just spent time in Java Center and listened to Rockapella really loud and sang all the songs. Or when we went down to Grand Rapids on the bus and Josh played a bit of guitar. Or the feeling of walking over the bridge late at night with no desire whatsoever to put on my sweatshirt because it was so warm out. Or the epic ice cream fight that Gaetan and I had on the Kleiner sofa. Yup, those white stains on the couch in the corner are from us. It was so funny, we were both just COVERED in ice cream and every ones looking at us like we're crazy. And i don't care.
oh yeah, i also got my belly button pierced this week. I like it.
Pictures of this week will be posted soon-ish, but there aren't that many. |
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| 10:38pm 27/03/2005 |
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Wow. Long time no update. Lots to tell, i guess. I have a ton of pictures to post. Whee! The first batch is from the past two youth groups. The ones where the kids aren't dressed up oddly is last week when we did the crucifixion talk and just with them around. The ones where i'm wearing a yellow dress among other things is Super Hero Night. Abbey and I were the two ugly stepsisters whose super power was making everyone else look better by comparison. Enjoy.
( Wonderfulness )
( Amy ) |
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lightbulbchick's journal
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